Dear Haya,
It’s the new year and like always I have made some new year resolutions that I’m already struggling to keep up with. I have planned to lose weight this year, but it’s just very difficult for me to do so when no one else in my house has the same plans.
I’m a big foodie, which also makes me vulnerable to gaining weight very quickly. I have tried all kinds of diets and exercises, but the issue I face the most is my will to continue doing that for at least a month. I always end up giving up within a couple of weeks — mainly because my family loves food and there’s no way I can escape it too.
I feel my issue is more related to restraining myself, but I struggle a lot with how to do that and stay focused on my goal.
Would you have any tips to help me?
Dear reader,
It is wonderful that you have set resolutions and identified areas to focus on and the start of a new year is a great opportunity for that.
It sounds like food holds a special emotional and cultural significance in your life and family. That’s not a weakness; it’s part of what makes life rich and enjoyable. However, it can become challenging when your personal goals feel at odds with your environment.
I see your levels of self awareness which is great — you recognise what works for you and what doesn’t, and you’ve identified patterns you tend to fall into. You’ve also pointed out your core challenge: staying consistent, especially when your environment feels unsupportive.
Let’s explore what you can do.
Shift your mindset
To achieve anything, we must first cultivate a mindset that supports our goals. Ask yourself: Why do you feel the need to restrict yourself to reach your goals? Has restriction truly helped you get where you want to be? Likely not. Instead, I encourage you to reframe your mindset. View your weight-loss journey as an opportunity to explore balance and nourish your body with foods you enjoy in healthier ways. This subtle shift can reduce feelings of deprivation and make the process feel less restrictive. When you focus on scarcity and restriction, you’re likely to recreate the same struggles.
Set SMART goals
Effective goals are SMART: specific, measurable, attainable, realistic, and time-bound. Is your weight-loss goal SMART? It seems you’re facing challenges in the areas of “attainable”, “realistic”, and “time-bound”.
Consider the following:
- How long do you realistically need to achieve your goal?
- How can you make it more manageable and sustainable?
Create an empowering environment
Achieving any goal requires an environment that supports your efforts. If your current environment doesn’t align, how can you adapt it? Something you can consider:
- Build a support network. Work with a nutrition or health coach who can guide and support you.
- Plan your meals in advance. Knowing what to eat and having that ready gives you control and reduces the influence of tempting foods at home.
- Practice portion control. When you want to enjoy a family meal, allow yourself to do so mindfully and without guilt. This can help you shift from a restrictive to an abundant mindset.
Focus on sustainable habits
Rather than crash diets or intense exercise regimens, prioritise small, sustainable changes. For example:
- Add a side of vegetables to your meals.
- Swap sugary drinks for water or herbal teas.
- Commit to a 10-minute walk after meals.
- A specific meal to start your day.
These manageable adjustments add up over time and are easier to maintain long-term.
Use your love for food
Channel your passion for food into creating healthier versions of dishes you love. Experiment with new recipes, spices, and ingredients that align with your goals. You might even inspire your family to join you on this journey!
Explore your relationship with food
Our relationship with food often reflects how we view ourselves. Food can be a lens through which we express self-worth, meet emotional needs, or cope with unresolved feelings. Consider exploring your connection with food further — this could reveal insights about your body image, self-worth, and emotional patterns.
Restart with compassion
Whenever you fall off track, get back on as quickly as possible. Shorten the gap between falling and restarting, and approach each restart with compassion and accountability. Reflect on your WHY: Why did you start this journey? How will you feel when you achieve your goals? Remember, discipline — not motivation — is what will get you there.
Stay accountable
Find ways to hold yourself accountable. This could mean teaming up with a buddy pursuing similar goals, joining an online support group, or tracking your progress with an app. Seek inspiration through encouraging podcasts and books — Atomic Habits is a great one to start with.
Positive self-talk
Speak kindly to yourself throughout this process. Remind yourself that you can and will achieve your goals, no matter how long it takes. Be mindful of your inner dialogue — our words have the power to rewire our brains. Success requires both compassion and accountability, not self-criticism.
Celebrate progress
Finally, celebrate your progress, no matter how small. It’s okay to stumble; progress isn’t about perfection but about consistency over time. Be patient with yourself and honour every victory along the way.
I’m rooting for you!
Haya
Haya Malik is a psychotherapist, Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) practitioner, corporate well-being strategist and trainer with expertise in creating organisational cultures focused on well-being and raising awareness around mental health.
Send her your questions to [email protected]
Note: The advice and opinions above are those of the author and specific to the query. We strongly recommend our readers consult relevant experts or professionals for personalised advice and solutions. The author and Geo.tv do not assume any responsibility for the consequences of actions taken based on the information provided herein. All published pieces are subject to editing to enhance grammar and clarity.
