Dear Haya!
I was very excited for Ramadan to begin, but given the very hectic routine and extra cooking responsibilities along with caring for my children, I am unable to spend a lot of time reflecting on my spiritual goals for the holy month.
While I love caring for my family and cooking for them in this festive season, I sometimes feel terribly tired and exhausted, which also then effects my goals and aspirations for Ramadan.
How would you suggest that I stay energised, manage home and family, and also not lag behind my personal spiritual journey?
— A busy homemaker
Dear busy homemaker,
Ramadan Mubarak! Ramadan is a beautiful time to reconnect with your spirituality, and it’s natural to feel both excited and overwhelmed. Balancing family responsibilities while striving for personal spiritual growth can be challenging, and it’s completely okay to feel exhausted at times.
Let’s explore how you can navigate this with ease and intention.
Set realistic expectations
You are one person, managing a lot. Instead of comparing yourself to others, focus on maximising your unique circumstances. It is important to set realistic expectations — honour your capacity and recognise that every effort, no matter how small, holds value.
Reevaluate and delegate
To get things in perspective, are there any tasks you can cut down, simplify, or delegate?
- Could a family member assist with meal prep?
- Can you cook in bulk or prepare simpler meals?
- Could your children help set the table or clean up?
You don’t have to do it all alone. Lightening your load allows you to preserve energy for both your family and your spiritual aspirations while creating a wholesome culture at home for Ramadan.
Reframe spirituality in routine
Look at your spiritual goals from a different lens. Reframe your spirituality in your every day routine.
Focus on what you are currently doing. For example, cooking and caring for your family is also a form of spirituality, where spirituality isn’t just about rituals — it’s also about intention. The care, love, and service you pour into your family are acts of worship. When you cook with love, serve with gratitude, and care for your household, you are already fulfilling a significant part of your faith.
Build SMART spiritual goals and club tasks together
Instead of broad intentions, set SMART (Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic, Time-bound) goals.
Get extremely clear on the spiritual goals you want to achieve this month. For example, reading the Quran, doing dhikr, listening to online classes etc. Make sure the goals you set are attainable and realistic, catered to you and your life.
To make them more attainable and realistic and expecting yourself to take out chunks of your time, club them into your existing routine. You may not always need long hours for reflection — sometimes, a few mindful moments are enough. For example, you could listen to the Quran while cooking, you could do dhikr while doing household chores and you could play an audio while cleaning.
This will enable you to integrate small acts into your daily routine ensuring consistency without overwhelming yourself.
Focus on energy management versus time management
During Ramadan, its essential to maintain your energy so you may be able to perform physically and mentally strong throughout the day. Make sure you prioritise proper nutrition, hydration and rest. Doing so will enable to show up for yourself and your family better
Focus on progress over perfection
It is easy to feel like you’re not doing “enough”. But remember, quality over quantity — even a single heartfelt dua holds immense power. Instead of aiming for perfection, focus on progress — some days will be easier than others, and that’s okay.
Keep striving and remember you’re doing the best that you can. Hope this helps.
May this Ramadan be filled with ease, blessings, and spiritual fulfilment for you.
— Haya
Haya Malik is a psychotherapist, Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) practitioner, corporate well-being strategist and trainer with expertise in creating organisational cultures focused on well-being and raising awareness around mental health.
Send her your questions to [email protected]
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