'My parents won't lend me £10k but helped my brother': When families play financial favourites

But experts say there are strategies that can help you avoid it.John says his parents, who have always supported his younger brother, recently refused to lend him £10,000 towards a house deposit after he broke up with his partner.This was despite the money being "well within their financial grasp", he says.His parents had previously given his brother a deposit to buy a home and subsidised his living expenses.John, 47, whose….

So you have all of that historic feeling of unfairness being dredged up."To avoid conflict, she says parents need to be clear with their children about what they want while they are still alive.Siblings who do fall out should consider mediation before taking legal action, she adds.

This is when a trained professional helps them remedy their problems.The good news is, siblings who take the legal route more often than not reach an amicable solution."Most of the time there is a deep-down family bond – and if you can crack what started the problem they often find a way through."1.

Recognise what's behind the row: It may be about feeling valued or treated fairly, rather than the money itself2.

Avoid making assumptions about a sibling's financial situation or the reasons behind parental decisions3.

Encourage open, respectful conversations where everyone has the opportunity to explain how they feel4.

Parents should communicate their intentions as clearly as possible, particularly if they are supporting children differently for practical reasons5.

Consider family counselling if conversations repeatedly become stuck or emotionally charged6.

Consider mediation before taking legal action in inheritance disputes.7.

Choose powers of attorney carefully: Parents usually appoint their children to oversee their care and finances if they get ill or lose mental capacity.

But if there's a risk they'll fall out, they can appoint someone else including a solicitor.

So-called financial favouritism can cause jealousy and resentment long into adulthood.

Here is how experts say you can avoid it.